Life, Simply Led

The Secret to Relaxed Parenting!

For this week’s Friday Club Parenting Carnival Ella at Notes from Home has asked for simple parenting tips.

My tip is the simplest of all but not always the easiest to do. We all know it works but making ourselves do it is an entirely other matter.

PATIENCE

Relaxed parenting relies upon this virtue more than any other and it is the one which reaps the richest rewards!

Bonus Boy was born in water but is now very reluctant to go underneath it which is holding back his swimming. I have seen so many parents at swimming lessons getting themselves in flap, worrying that their child won’t learn to swim and passing on this worry to the child in question.

There have been occasions with Bonus Boy when I have wanted to just give him a little push, or splash him mercilessly but I know he will dig his heels in and refuse if I try those tactics so I have waited patiently. He has to want to do it, without pressure to perform. I have gently encouraged tiny little steps in the right direction, rewarded him when he has achieved  a step forwards.

Two weeks ago he dipped his ears in the water and blew bubbles on the surface. Every bit of his face went underwater VERY briefly. I bought him the water toys I had promised him if he did this! I made sure I didn’t promise them before I thought he was ready to do it because I didn’t want him to feel he had ‘failed’. He set himself the challenge and he achieved it. He was over the moon!

At bathtime on Sunday, he was at it again!

Ears right under, listening to the water going down the plughole and very, very pleased with himself! He can’t wait until his next swimming lesson and neither can I!

What’s your top parenting tip?

Here are the other entries in this parenting tips carnival:

Nova at Cherished by Me shares her tips in Encouraging Children to Read.

Gemma at HelloitsGemma’s Blog gives us her working mum tips in This working Mummy’s guide to life.

Maggy at Red Ted Art shows us how Baby Can Draw!

Cass at The Diary of a Frugal Family shows us how she teaches her children about other countries and cultures whilst having fun in America Day.

Helen at Cheeky Wipes gives us her tips in Fussy Eating.

Mummy Beadzoid gives us some Parenting tips for the NICU/SCBU parent.

Kelly at Domestic Goddesque shares her advice in Terrible Twos: tips for dealing with tantrums?

Ella at Notes From Home gives us her tip for encouraging children to tidy up at the end of the day.

Tiddlyompompom shares her weaning tips in her oh so helpful guide to weaning.

Mymumdom shares her tips in Parenting Tips (Me Over The Edge).

SouthoftheRiverMum tells us her plans to set up a Reward System at Home.

Not so single mum at Diary of a Not So Single Mum shares her advice on doing what you feel is best for your child and your family.

Jax at Making It Up discusses behavioural issues in a quandary in search of a tip.

Bod for Tea shares her advice on finding a ‘helper’ to encourage your child to do things they don’t really like doing in Bunny says.

Hayley at Simply Hayley tells us about Hugs and Love.

Make Do Mum shares her stickability scale in Know Your Enemy.

Blue Sky at Looking for Blue Sky gives us some teenage tips.

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28 Comments

  1. Whoever said that patience is a virtue was so right! It can be so difficult to have!!

  2. Good post and you’re so right about it being crucial to relaxed parenting. I’ve a remarkably short supply of patience atm and all 4 of us are suffering from it.

    Thanks Christine, and congrats to Bonus Boy on his great achievement!

    • If I do reach the end of my tether it causes more trouble than it’s worth as it throws the whole family off kilter…I have finally learned to walk away and come back when I have taken a few very deep breaths. I’ve come close to over ventilating on many occasions!

  3. So true! Simple but so, so difficult. Thanks for the encouraging success story.

    • It does work, I bite my lip a lot! It is encouraging when it works and you know it’s because you let them go at their own pace rather than at yours!

  4. I had no idea how much patience would be required to be a parent. If I had, I’m not sure I would have committed to the project all.

    • There is so much which remains a secret until you’ve given birth…they talk about poo and sick but no one mentions that you will be wiping copious amounts of snot up for YEARS or that you will need the patience of a saint to even get out of the house by lunch time. I have a friend who thinks everyone should be given a practice child, she has a point!

  5. You are so right about the importance of patience and it has been a long and slow battle for me to acquire it!

    • Me too! My Mum still looks a bit surprised when she sees me being patient!

  6. Patience is ‘not’ my middle name (as the saying should go) and I want ‘it’ now – just that I can’t work out what ‘it’ actually is, because ‘indecisive’ is my middle name, I think. I don’t have time for patience, it’s over-rated, lol.
    Just kidding! This is a great post and above all no-one can deny that given a headstrong toddler, no amount of over enthusiastic persuasion to get them to ‘do what you want’ is not going to get them ‘to want to do it’.
    Glad he is doing it ‘his’ way and glad he’s enjoying it – you will reap the benefits of your patience all in good time :o)

    K’Boo’s swimming teacher tells them that they need to shout their names into the water to let the fish know who they are – they have to shout while blowing bubbles.

    • Thank you for popping by! Four kids has taught me that patience is essential if I am not to explode into a million tiny pieces! He’ll get there, we’re lucky to have an absolutely fantastic swimming teacher (voted best in UK) she’s marvellous…he’s in love with her, which helps!

      • Wow, very lucky! And very, very lucky to have a Mum who, with 4 children finds the time to be the best she can and, to want to do it in a way that they feel in control of their achievements (and still be patient!).
        I doubt the love in your house is ‘thinly spread’ – you inspire us Mrs Mosler xXx

        • Oh goodness *struggles to hold her inflated head on top of her neck* thank you!

  7. patience is hard…letting them do it on their own takes so much more time!!! but i applaud you. :)

  8. Oh you are so right. Patience is… a work in progress for me. I fully admit that some days I just don’t have it. I don’t like myself much those days. But mostly it oils the cogs that get you through the day. Great post :)

    • Thank you! It is easily written but not so easily practised…but, practice makes perfect apparently so on we go! :-D

  9. Being patient doesn’t come naturally to me. Sometimes I am literally sitting on my hands or biting my tongue and even that doesn’t help sometimes.
    When my DH calls me ‘instant gratification woman’ he’s only half joking!

  10. Wouldn’t it be great if patience were a little easier to come by? I seem to have a finite amount….

  11. so so true. sometimes it’s unbelievably hard, but patience is definitely the way forward :)

  12. What a lovely post and so true. Glad your son is getting more confident in water. X

  13. Patience is something I have to be quite mindful of, especially with a big family but it really does reap rewards.

    So glad BB is enjoying making progress in his own time. Two of my children are very like that and I, too, have learned not to push – I have found they get there a lot quicker under their own steam and I get less stressed about it!

  14. I wholeheartedly agree with you about relaxed parenting. I think our kids pick up on the stress and it adds to the situation. I have been concerned about some of K’s progress, ie she was very slow to learn how to read, very unmotivated and was falling far behind, as soon as I took a chill pill, she started picking up books and reading anything she could get her hands on. She is now well advanced for her age when it comes to reading.

    She also had a very strong phobia of water, couldn’t bear getting her face even lightly splashed. Then one day on holiday she just got in the hotel pool and I have never been able to get her out of water since! Just tonight she put her goggles on so she could have a long soak in the bath and deliberately go underwater and open her eyes. It has gone a bit too far now though as she will jump and dive into a swimming pool, too overconfident with no due care or attention and had loads of near misses of hitting her head on the edge of the pool! AArrgghh! Talk about going from one extreme to the other!

    I am not a naturally patient person, but having K has certainly taught me to take a step back and realise that things will happen in their own natural time

  15. love that second picture – what a happy face!

    Before I had kids I knew I wasn’t a patient person, and I didn’t think it mattered. Now I do a good impression of patience…

  16. I’ve struggled with this in the past. As a person, I want things now and hate to wait and as a parent I’m the same but I always make sure that I don’t let the kids see this as I never want them to think that they’ve failed or aren’t good enough at something!

    It’s hard but the patient way is definitely the best (if not the hardest) way to go x x

  17. Patience makes such a huge different, feeling tired really reduces mine and the consequences are almost always situations where a bit more patience would have made all the difference. lovely post

  18. I like reading your post. Patience is really important in dealing with one’s child. Great post!
    Jhona

  19. Your article is so good I’ve bookmarked it already.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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